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MOTHER TERESA OF CALCUTTA

THE BIG CALL

In September 1946, Mother Teresa was 36 years old and she had to go to the Darjeeling convent, nestled at the foot of the Himalayas, about 650 kilometers from Calcutta, to do her annual spiritual exercises. During her train ride, she had a mystical encounter with Christ. It was what she called the call within the call. She said: It was a call within my vocation. It was a second call. It was a vocation to leave even Loreto, where she was very happy, to go to the streets to serve the poorest of the poor. It was on that train that I heard the call to leave everything and follow Him in the most miserable neighborhoods. I knew that it was his will and that I had to follow him. There was no doubt that it was going to be his Work

That day, September 10, she began to receive a series of interior locutions, which continued until the middle of the following year. She heard the voice of Jesus and conversed with Him. He tenderly called her my wife, my little one, and she said to him: My Jesus, my Jesus. That day would be remembered as the day of the beginning of the Congregation and as the day of inspiration

Returning to Calcutta, she told her spiritual director, the Jesuit Father Celeste Van Exem, what had happened to her on the train and during her retreat. The first thing that Father Van Exem recommended to her was that she stop thinking about inspiration. In a letter to her Superior General, she would later tell her: Father Van Exem put me off, even though he saw that it was from God, and forbade me even to think about it. Often, very often, during the four months (September 1946 to January 1947) I asked him to let me talk to His Excellency (the Archbishop of Calcutta) and he always refused.

Finally, in January 1947, Father Van Exem gave him permission to write to Archbishop Monsignor Périer, asking for permission to begin his new life. To this end he wrote a letter on January 13 in which he told her: Since last September, strange thoughts and desires have filled my heart. They became stronger and clearer during the eight days of retreat in Darjeeling

These thoughts were the cause of much suffering, but the voice continued saying: Will you refuse? One day, during Holy Communion, I heard the same voice very clearly: I want Indian religious, victims of my love, who would be Mary and Martha, who would be so united to Me as to radiate My love over souls. I want free religious, covered with my poverty of the Cross. I want obedient nuns, covered with my obedience of the Cross. I want nuns full of love, covered with the charity of the Cross. Will you refuse to do this for Me? You have become my wife for love of Me, you have come to India for Me. Your thirst for souls brought you this far. Are you afraid to take a new step for your husband? For Me and for souls? Has your generosity grown cold? Am I secondary to you? You didn’t die for souls, so you don’t care what happens to them. Your heart was never drowned in pain as was my Mother’s. We both gave ourselves totally for souls. And you? You are afraid of losing your vocation, of becoming lay, of lacking perseverance. No, your vocation is to love and suffer and save souls and, by taking this step, you will fulfill the desire of my Heart for you. That is your calling. You will dress in simple Indian clothes or rather as my Mother dressed, simple and poor. Your current habit is holy, because it is my symbol. Your sari will become holy, because it will be my symbol.

I tried to persuade Our Lord that she would try to become a very fervent and holy nun from Loreto, a true victim here in this vocation, but the answer came back very clearly. I want Missionaries of Charity Indian sisters, who will be my fire of love among the poorest, the sick, the dying, the little street children. I want you to bring me the poor. The sisters will offer their lives as victims of my love. They will bring these souls to Me. I know that you are the most incapable, weak and sinful person, but precisely because you are, I want to use you for my Glory! Will you refuse? These words, or rather this voice, frightened me. The thought of eating, sleeping, living like the Indians filled me with fear. I prayed for a long time, I prayed a lot. I begged Our Mother Mary to ask Jesus to take all this away from me. The more I prayed, the more clearly the voice grew in my heart and so I prayed that He would do with me whatever He wanted. He asked over and over again
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